Taking On ‘Other People’s Stuff”

September 1st, 2014
other people's stuff

Wearing OPS?

Do you unwittingly take on “other people’s stuff”??  I do, and so often it gets in the way of normal living!

Other People’s Stuff (also OPS) is a strange malady that occurs – usually in very sensitive people – that can manifest in many ways.  Sometimes these ways can be beneficial – like taking on a sudden strength when needed – but often the OPS assumes the role of whiner, complainer, angry tyrant, or victim.  If you are suffering from acute OPS, chances are you’re not even aware anything different has happened – especially if you’ve done this all your life!

So how do you know when OPS has taken over your feelings and senses?  Muscle testing.

Muscle testing is a simple way of finding out the “yeses” and “no’s” in your life.  My husband and I use simple statements to test whether or not something is true for us.  Starting with “My name is Brigitte” and other obvious statements, we can quickly establish the strength of the muscle for true statements.  By changing the statements to obvious false ones like “My name is Charles,” I can feel the difference in my muscle strength enough to determine that the statement is false.  Then we test for staatements that are unknown…

Testing for OPS involves simply testing the statement “This [pain, anxiety, etc feeling] is mine.”  If the statement (muscle) is strong, then the issue is yours and needs more attention paid to your inner child decisions.  If, on the other hand, the statement tests weak, then you must decide whether or not the OPS in question comes from some one you know or have associated with in the recent past.

I often take on my sister’s stuff, for example, jsut by talking with her over the phone.  Because I love her – and because she has unresolved issues that I feel I must “fix” (at least subconsciously) I often assume the Big Sister role without a second thought and take on her pain or disturbances.  The same goes with friends and other family members.

Curiously enough, I don’t have as much problem with strangers, unless I connect with them on a heart level.  Because the heart connection has (usually) not be established, I have no reason to connect, and therefore don’t assume OPS.

Check out your own “stuff” and see if it is yours – or someone else’s.  You may be surprised!

 

A Word From The Wise . . .

January 31st, 2014

Brigitte is in Germany enjoying a week with her sisters and their families.  This post.  I just received this widely circulated message in my Inbox and thought that,  rather than Spam everyone I know, I would simply post it here.  I hope you enjoy the wisdom . . . and Kudos for Ben Stein & CBS Sunday Morning for airing this thought provoking, no matter what your religious belief or political stance is!  - Michael

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ben stein quoteMy confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish, and it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees…  I don’t feel threatened…  I don’t feel discriminated against… That’s what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, ‘Merry Christmas’ to me.  I don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto.  In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu.  If people want a creche, it’s just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution and I don’t like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren’t allowed to worship God as we understand Him?  I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different:  This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her ‘How could God let something like this happen?’ (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, ‘I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives, and being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?’

In light of recent events… terrorists attacks, school shootings, etc.  I think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.  Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself, and we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he’s talking about, and we said okay.

Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.  I think it has a great deal to do with ‘WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.’

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.  Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.  Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it… no one will know you did.  But, if you discard this thought process, don’t sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards,  Honestly and respectfully, Ben Stein

 

Oh, This Feeling of Longing….

January 26th, 2014

longingYesterday I told you about “taking on other people’s feelings.” Today I want to share with you a story that could have been dramatic but then just evaporated….

It’s Saturday,  I’m driving in my car, enjoying the sun shine, feeling grateful for just being alive, when I see one of my neighbors standing with a lady friend in front of his house.  I see him, he looks at me and whoosh I have this feeling of incredible longing.  So I go on driving, run my errands observing “longing.”  Longing can be very painful ….and it’s intense, so I am thinking “what do I do?”

I mean I am trying to live an authentic life.  Should  I visit him?    So no, I go home to Michael and tell him……by the way, Michael and I have an agreement to tell each other everything, even if its difficult to say.  And no, it’s not fun.  I suspect none of us like it because we think “I won’t look good” and  I feel embarrassed, of course.

But what’s also true is that Michael is my friend as well as my husband.  He knows I will never hurt him, and just want to know what’s really going on with me.  I also know he will not freak out when I tell him things (this is, of course, important).  He just sits there, listening patiently.  He knows he’s a great guy, loves me, and doesn’t question how I feel, except to help me past it.  I don’t know how he got that – maybe from his beloved grandmother Mimi).

Anyhow, so I tell him that I have this longing for this neighbor guy and he does the Logical Soul® muscle testing while having me make statements like “these are my feelings” or “someone else’s feelings,” etc.  And guess what?  These feelings are NOT mine – they belonged to my neighbor’s  lady friend who stood with him.   They were her longings for him.

The moment I got that  these intense feeling of longing did not originate from me, but were just “pick up feelings,”  that intensity was suddenly gone……poof!  Do you know what I would have done 30 years earlier in my life, not knowing what I know now, but living in the space of “being real”?  I would have packed my suit case and left my husband.    I guess that’s why we were blessed to discover the Logical Soul® . . . to stay sane and help others be the same!

Can you imagine how the world would be with so much LESS DRAMA in it?  It staggers the imagination!

 

Are My Feelings Really Mine?

January 25th, 2014

Are your “feelings” really yours?  Sometimes they’re not . . .

Yesterday I wrote about how I stored pain in my body by just listening to a friend.  I am amazed how I do that and, believe me, I’m not aware when it happens.  Taking on what Michael calls “Stuff from other people” happens to me a lot:  emotional stuff,  thought patterns, and other ways that are even more mysterious.   It just happens to me subconsciously.

What I become conscious of is suddenly seeing the world differently.  I see my husband differently.  For example, whenever I don’t see him as the best and  the greatest,  and have only love for him, I know I have “stuff.”

I remember when my friend Shona told this to me the first time.  She said “You know, when you don’t see Michael as Love and magnificent you have stuff.” I didn’t believe her then, but began to look at it.  Really?  This was a new concept and I just tried it on.

will smith on feelingsIt took me a while to observe what I feel when “stuff” happens.  Sometimes I spend time with my girl friends and I love and adore them very much.  And then afterwards it happens, every so often, I look at Michael very skeptically and critically.  I feel there is nothing he can do right.  And, really, he has no chance to do anything right at this point!

I don’t like myself that way, but these are my feelings, right?  Not necessarily, I found out.  Normally, we are told to trust our feelings, to allow our emotions to give us feedback.  But if you are a “psychic sponge” like me, you have to give yourself permission to check using muscle testing:  are these really my feelings?

Using the Logical Soul® Technique to investigate, I found out that  I am very quick in taking on other peoples’ feelings, memes, mind viruses, and even   their ancestors’ ideas about life and reality!  During this whole thing, the only indication I have that this is not my stuff is that my life suddenly looks different.  I think differently and feel differently, but at the same time the underlying belief is that this feeling is mine.

The other indication that this is other people’s stuff is that once I identify that these feelings are indeed NOT mine and drop them using the Logical Soul®, they are gone . . . suddenly the sun shines and I’m in love again!  Michael can now miraculously do no wrong, everything is pretty darn good, and I’m happy.

If it is truly my stuff, I also find this out through muscle testing.  Then I will  look at it and deal with it accordingly.  This is a different process .  I invite you to check yourself for one whole day: how you feel when you are socializing or dealing with different people.  Be alert to the changes and let go of what’s not yours!

Relationship and Low Back Pain: How Miracles Happen

January 24th, 2014

low back pain causesHow do relationships – and even stories of these relationships – impact health and low back pain?  Ask me!

A lady who helps me clean our house came over and while cleaning told me about the newest developments in her troubled relationship.  Not good – drugs, cheating, really not good.  In the meantime we packed away all the Christmas stuff outside and inside the house and I felt so grateful how easy that went and how clear the house looked again.

When the evening came around I had spasms in my lower back.  I really discovered  excruciating pain and told Michael that the life I have lived until this day has changed forever (I tend to be a little dramatic).   Any movement was painful and the thought being dependent on my husband for any movement did not help.  My husband Michael (a chiropractor) examined my low back and suspected I had a disc problem or herniation.  He then adjusted it and put me on the inversion table.  Nothing seemed to help.  Finally I had to take some pain pills.  They helped until the next morning, but then the pain started all over again.

Of course I shared my “new life” with women in my life who both said “it’s the lower back – check if you feel supported”.  Yes, I feel supported in every possible way – but then it dawned on me, my cleaning lady did not feel supported, did she with her cheating beau, so and I must have listened in such a way that I ”took it on”  -  once I realized that little hidden decision …Presto, Chango!   The pain left immediately, almost 80 % of it!!  Today, two weeks later,  I’m fine.

What would I have done or easily imagine doing had it not been for knowing the Logical Soul® Technique?  I would have seriously considered back surgery.  The pain was just so great I would have taken a lot of drastic measures to have peace again.  Miracle?  I think so.

Soul Logic: One and One is NOT Two!

December 3rd, 2013
michael and brigitte craig

Brigitte and Michael at the Beach

My husband Michael and I recently went to Tampa, FL on business and decided to stay two extra nights at a beach hotel.  We just love the beach, so decided “why not?”

We soon came to find out, however, that a sand-castle contest and festival going on right in front of our hotel, so there was not the expected silence Michael loves.  Personally I don’t mind it so much, what with the beach and my shopping . . .

On day two a few things happened.  One is I picked up the Tampa “Natural Awakening” and read the article from Michael A. Singer, “12 Steps to Spiritual Awakening.”  Really good article . . . in it Singer points out to “notice that you’re always try to be okay,” to “watch the mind strive to figure out how everything needs to be for you to be okay” and he invites us to stop trying to make everything o.k. and just accept and be.

Although I’m familiar with the idea, it was wonderful to read.   Then the second thing happened immediately.  Michael wanted to take the car and discover a new beach . . . about an hour away.  I really didn’t want to go anywhere, and we were leaving the next day, so I thought “why go to another beach?  Isn’t sand just sand?” …you get the picture.

I remembered Singer’s advice to “just accept” – so I looked at it.  I watched when we got lost, then had to find a store to change money to pay the tolls, then….

As you can tell, nothing went easily . . . at least that’s how it looked to me!  I actually said to Michael:  “this acceptance thing just does not work for me!  Maybe it works for other people, but as you can see, not for me.” 

When we finally were on our way, we crossed over this incredible beautiful bridge – a piece of art connecting Tampa to other beaches – and ended up in a beach restaurant that had elements of Goa, Bahamas, Hilton Head and Florida all in one.  One word came to mind:  paradise.

So we sat there and I felt very grateful to have followed Michael on this adventure and grateful for this beauty all around us. Then I pondered my resistance to following pretty much anyone’s ideas but my own.  Can you imaging how my life looks like?

Since I’m a Logical Soul® Practitioner and the so-called “mother” of Logical Soul®  I courageously said to Michael “can you test me on a few statements, like ‘it’s safe to follow people’s directions’?”

Michael obliged.  He is smart, he never “makes me do it” and the short form to my resistance to follow anyone’s ideas went back when I was two years old and my mother had an idea how to potty train me.  Well let me just tell you, that I made a decision right there that mirrored my distaste of peoples’ ideas about what’s good for me and what not.

There you have it.  Michael’s idea about going to another beach met the resistance of an unhappy two year old.  See?  One and one does not make two!  I had no logical access to why I was so resistant.  The access is the important and only thing that makes a difference.

 

The Hero’s Journey: The Longing In Our Soul

December 2nd, 2013

excaliburWhy do people take drugs?

Apparently most try to escape their lives, their circumstances, their ill health or their relationships with others or with the Divine.  I was lucky; I found a spiritual master, and married a wonderful man who stands for total transformation.

I thought if I had one day to teach in a class room for 13 – 16 year young people, my theme  would be about finding “the Grail” like in the King Arthur story.  And I remember, being 16 years old,  having to give a verbal test for graduation about that very topic and I remember my German teacher, Frau Fesser,  swinging her feet, and kind of taking me on a journey -in the middle of a very important test – mind you- about finding the sword and what it meant, all stuff we have never discussed ever in her class.  But I remember I was transported in another realm.   So what I would like to pass on to younger people is a bit of my understanding, such as …

1) Discover your Journey.  It’s all inside, full of dark forces  and light shining and until you find “it”, nothing will ever fulfill you, ever.

2) Go make that journey.   You might not find “it.”  Yes, it belongs to you,  but just to be on the journey, so many treasures ….what grace.

3) You are responsible for finding your own path. There might not even BE one path, or you might simply create it while you walk it.

I remember being 8 years old, I remember where I stood (in front of the house, looking upward) and thinking out very loud: Hey God, is that really all there is? 

What I meant was …that can’t be all, these parties my parents gave, going to school, feeling of  not belonging, feeling of being different… a string of unhappy feelings interrupted by a spark of Christmas feeling every now and then.   I also know whenever I asked, I got an answer in some form or another . . . usually not the way I ever expected.   It was God or Life talking to me, and it was always magical and graceful.

Have a great journey . . . And accept that you are a Hero!

 

What Am I Covering Up? Part 2

November 17th, 2013

dream interpretation(In my last article, I spoke of my Logical Soul® session and about not feeling sacred, and changing that into being aware about the sacredness of one’s nature.  In this article I will discuss underlying reasons why we lose our sacredness.)

I lost my sacredness through shame.  But how – and why – did this happen?

When we don’t feel sacred, what do we feel?  In my case deep hidden shame that showed up . . . eating  just a little bit more in the evening of those chewy, tasty chocolate bars.

Interestingly enough, I read a book a few weeks before entitled  Daring Greatly by Brenee Brown.  I adore this book, and love her writing.  Brenee has the courage to shine light in dark places;  reading her book gave me words and permission to feel and accept shame and look at the hidden gifts!

I also previously attended a body-mind workshop by Dominique Sire, another beloved teacher and mentor of mine.   Her words are often:  “Body show me,  what are you hiding?”

According to Dominique the body does not lie.  Says she:  “Trust the body, trust the wisdom of the body.”  Check out her work at www.dominiquesire.com.

I love real transformational work, traveling into ones own Soul and finding treasures, and often explore this through Dominique’s work and through the Logical Soul®.

What Am I Covering Up? Part 1

November 16th, 2013
Brigitte and Michael

Brigitte and Michael

Peeling the Onion.  That’s the analogy my husband Michael Craig uses to describe the process of uncovering different layers of “stuff” that hide your true self.  Sometimes I wish not to peel anything and just be done with the whole thing . . .  then the peeling  just happens anyway, just not the way I think it should!

So I was just sitting with Michael, enjoying being silent….and then I thought, “Nah,  I should clear up something.”  I like to clear stuff up . . . ways that stop me from living, loving  and committing to my growth.  However, when I was with Michael I felt I had to clear something up.  The thought occurred “what could be be so possible wrong with me that I have to clear something up first before I can just be with him?”

It is then that the face of Osho (my spiritual master) popped up.  I remember Him telling us “you are Buddhas, you are all Buddhas;  just asleep, but that does not change the very fact of who you truly are.” 

I remember hearing these words – spoken 30 years ago – but not really hearing them.  There was just no listening for this.

So then I did a Logical Soul® session, i.e., checked in with my ancestors and asked for the gift of feeling sacred.  What I got from them was a puzzled concern about  how it is possible to “feel sacred.”   Since I (and my ancestors) come from a religious background, we always had in the back of our minds that we were sinful and never good enough.  Maybe – just maybe – I could try to find redeeming qualities about myself, but sacredness was not among them.

Long story short, I proceeded with the Logical Soul® session and finally got permission and blessings from my ancestors to really live that way, i.e., feeling sacredness in my body and life.

What happened in my life afterwards was that I lost 5 pounds in one week and cannot eat any more after feeling full (by the way, this is the second month after that session)!  I no longer need to cover up, but what was I covering up?

So what are YOU covering up?  Do a Logical Soul® session and check my next post to find out!

The Cure for Food Cravings

July 11th, 2011

ancestors

Michael's Ancestors - 1909

One day last month I found myself “roaming the pantry” at 9:00 at night. This is not unusual . . . I often do this kind of “roaming. I don’t like it, so I did a Logical Soul(R) session with Michael.

I found out via my session that my body remembered something every evening at 9:00 . . . the time I first learned of my mother’s death in Germany!  So, to try to heal this wound, or cover it up and console my body, I started craving chocolate every night.

The moment I “got” that, the chocolate craving disappeared.  Instead, however, I started eating COOKIES!   Well, well……

So for the past several weeks I’ve been watching and observing this behavior.  I did other Logical Soul(R) sessions with Michael and with a friend, and got some pretty powerful results.  My friend, for example, discovered I had a few hidden decisions about food and spirituality that I was able to clear up. Afterwards, I felt grace . . . as if I had become a channel for blessings and transformation.

Before my session I did not have receptors for accepting anything into my life other than struggle, hardship, and stress.  I certainly didn’t invite ease or grace!

This insight hit me like a ton of bricks.  I checked back into my consciousness where this “not being able to” accept grace came from.  Clearly it came from my mother’s side of the family, along with her ancestors.  The ensuing  conversation with her and my ancestors revealed that I could only be of value if and “when you work hard.”

This limitation expressed itself in multiple ways. Later I will tell you about more conversations with my ancestors