So, I watched myself for the last few month “not-blogging”, wanting to blog but…. just did not do it. So this morning I felt this space of “won’t blog” again and just stayed with it and shared that with Michael, just saying what’s so and when I looked a little deeper came up was “I need permission to express myself” hmmh, from whom?
Well I checked (via muscle testing or kinesology) no, not from God but from my boss? Now, my boss ……..how did I get there? So I asked Michael to get me to the first time I made the decision that I need permission, or what scene in my life got me to that point where I am now “not daring to express myself, needing permission from a boss like person” and in a second I was there.
As the mother in “Golden Girls” always said: “picture it.., Sicily” well in my case, picture it, 1960, Germany I’m 5 years old in front of a milk store and I’m holding this toy in my hand. There is also this young lady pushing a stroller and the child looks at my toy and really wants it, as he is nearly leaping out of the stroller. I look at my toy, look at the lady and say, o.k. he can have it for 5 marks. Lady looks at me very disgusted and says let’s go to your mother. So we march one block to see my mother, lady explains to my mother and both women agree that I should just give away my toy and be happy!
So…….I made many decisions at that moment and was of them was “it’s not safe to express myself”. Now, since I saw the story, felt the event, I mean I am right there, now I can go to this little 5 year old as I am now as a grown up and ask her what she needs at this moment. She told me she needs her mother to completely approve of her creativity how to exchange her toy for 5 marks. So I the adult asked my mother to go ahead and extend all approval she got to the little one. I asked my little girl is she fells safe enough now -with me at her side forever- to express herself fully, and, yes she said ohyes!
So here I am, finally able to blog this evening. As the saying goes “the proof is in the pudding”.
I found out that there are a few main stories/events in every ones life and we made lots of decisions at that moment at these events in rapid order. I am so very lucky because I live with Michael who found this great technique, easy to use, not much talk, just going right to the bottom of “the event” and change the decision. Life is great. I am so grateful to have tools like that. I am so grateful to the people in my life. Big Thanks to Dr. Leon Lashner, Atlanta who every time he saw me asked: “have you started writing yet?” Thank you to my beloved husband Michael Craig for always being available to me “to check me out”. Many stories to follow. Can’t wait to share them with you and hope to inspire sharing your own stories with me/us.
Tags: blogging, freedom from, self sabotage
I am so glad you got unblocked with your blog 🙂 and are sharing your experiences and insights with us, using the logical soul technique.
Just the other day I had a phone session with you that caused such transformation that I felt like sharing it with your readers with your permission.
Since March of this year I have been working on my dual citizenship after being in this country for 30 years. Dual citizenship has been available to German citizens for the past 10 years, but it took me this long to actually pursue it. At this point I have accomplished the hardest part and I am only one step away from becoming an American Citizen.
When I was right in the middle of going through the process I became very aware of my emotional experience of looking forward to becoming a citizen. I began to have the feeling of coming home, of completing a long journey and it moved me to tears.
My family has been very supportive but my parent in laws stated on several occasions that I “could not serve two masters” by having dual citizenship and that I needed to decide what side I was on. There were a couple of heated discussions and I felt judged and misunderstood by someone who is very dear to me and I felt hurt to the point that when they offered to attend my citizenship event I didn’t want them to come. So I knew it was time for a logical soul session.
When I shared my dilemma with you, you asked me to go back in time to my early memories of feeling this way. There clearly was a lot of judgment. The expectations of being a good girl, a good catholic, a good German, a good daughter, a good mother etc. permeated our family tree.
When I connected with my relatives and asked them to free my child from these burdens, it was clear that they all carried these burdens themselves and didn’t know how to let them go. For them it was all about survival. You had to know what side you were on.
This realization allowed me to get in touch with my own fear of government, which I now believe prevented me from pursuing the citizenship for so many years. This was clearly an ancestral issue.
Now I was also able to see and understand why my in laws felt the way they did. There lives and survival indeed had depended on what side they were on.
Shortly after the session I had the perfect opportunity to share my insights with my in laws. It was as if I was able to put into words what was deep in their hearts. My mother in law teared up and said that it was just like I had described and that she was sorry for hurting my feelings. I thanked her for the opportunity to have had such wonderful insights. Also I was able to truly share my own believes. I told them that I actually feel like a world citizen and if there was such a thing as world citizenship, I would apply for it. I told them I felt honored to be able to acquire dual citizen ship and that it was the closest thing to world citizenship I could have. I told them that it was because of living in America that I was introduced to what it means to be proud of your country and what it feels like to be patriotic. I learned to honor my own German heritage in the process. So I am proud to be a Germanican and to be free to be a citizen of the world that I serve.
Now I can look forward to sharing becoming an American Citizen with my in laws.
Thank you Soma for your unconditional love and generosity and for your commitment to the emotional health and well being of all humans.
Just thought today, how very luck I am to know you and I thought how much we laugh when we share. And your sharing inspired my blog for 11/2. Thank you for being in my life!! Love you. Thank you for sharing!!